I think we have finally reached maximum level of Tennis Balls allowed in the house. Recently while cleaning I counted them, 4 in the kitchen, 3 in the hall, 4 bedroom, 2 under the bed, 1 in the closet, 6 in the living room and 2 in the couch. I think of the process in how all these came to be in the house, while not having bought a single one. Maggie has found them all & like a new treasure carried them home. Living near tennis courts helps in our search.
It is a ritual of sorts. We we go out for a late night walk, head on the path that takes us by the tennis courts. She knows when the court lights are off then it is okay to pull me up to the door and ask to go in. Quietly we enter, she sits to have her leash removed and then the great search has begun. She is off on a systematic search that has not varied. This is of her own creation, I have tried to go a different way, she ignores me and runs around the perimeter checking the corners, under the side canvases and under the benches. A pile of leaves in the corner leads to a thorough search. Sometimes this results in a ball which follows with a run to the center of the court & looking at me saying "want to see what I found? You have to chase me." At which we then run and chase having a grand time with a new found treasure that I am not allowed to see.
If nothing was found she is off to the middle door separating the courts. First waiting, then asking if she can go, Maggie pushes open the door and is off on another search in the same pattern as the first. Sometimes this results in 2 or 3 balls being found and a game of catch will occur.
After she is finished with her search & rounds she heads back to the middle door, it is time to leave she is finished. I always amazes me how she enters & leaves through the same door. She will open the middle door herself but will not the outer doors. It is as if the other exterior door does not exist.
Yes, I believe Dogs are creatures of thought processes. There is something going on behind those big eyes.
If we have found a ball and it is time to leave, that ball is carried with us. Sometimes if there are multiple balls she tries to carry all of them home. I try to explain that we should only take one and leave the rest for others. Sometimes this occurs and sometimes she insists on 2 balls which she manages to carry in her mouth. The rule is she is needs to carry them home, which she proudly does.
Up on leaving she heads straight for home anxious to bring her new found treasure home. This leads to the next hour or so of her guarding & carrying that ball around. She doesn't confuse it with the "old" balls, this is the new one and favored one until we find another the next evening.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Decisions & Obligations...
This is nothing as "important" as before. But still, this week has been Decisions & Obligations.... I obligated myself to making a cake, so that is first priority, I also have a class each week, and a follow up dinner this week, then there are the calendars, and work. Decisions... I want to go to the gym, to the pool, to walk the dog, I need to finish the test in the studying I am doing, and I am having fun with the Candy Clay flowers involved in this cake. Added to all that is Mother's Day which I must be involved with, and My Sister's birthday which I just need to acknowledge, gift is a bonus. Beyond that there was a friends, a child's birthday, and then the Preakness. One action packed week. So I added a birthday cake for this weekend and work has decided to go on a schedule of craziness. Oh what am I to do?
The cake is going well, working well, and rather damn cool if I do say so. I am in a quandary about being paid for this. While they are willing to pay, and will, I am just not sure what to really charge... I mean my time is money, but still. Is it worth that much.
I have had a grand week over all, I have seen God a few times, searched a few times, and just well left everything up to him a few times too. I have wondered what to address this week's blog too... and I have come to the conclusion that I am not quite ready for this week to come about.
At first I was going to write about the Preakness and my obsession with racing. About the beauty of a horse running down the stretch and how I have no idea what I am doing in Handicapping a race. But then there was the moment of seeing Pauline's husband and hearing his laughter, God in disguise, and Daysi at the party, being SO excited to see me there. That was the hand of God too. They both made me feel the joy of God. Then there was Mother's Day, a day of mixed emotions for me. But nothing came together. Miss Maggie went swimming in the lake for the first time this year, I missed making dinner for Mother's Day. There are plenty of postings in all of that. Then there is the cake...which is going well so I don't have much to say on that so far.
So it is a week of busyness... I have things going on, perhaps I will form full thoughts on them later, but right now... Wow, I am busy. I will land the ship later.
The cake is going well, working well, and rather damn cool if I do say so. I am in a quandary about being paid for this. While they are willing to pay, and will, I am just not sure what to really charge... I mean my time is money, but still. Is it worth that much.
I have had a grand week over all, I have seen God a few times, searched a few times, and just well left everything up to him a few times too. I have wondered what to address this week's blog too... and I have come to the conclusion that I am not quite ready for this week to come about.
At first I was going to write about the Preakness and my obsession with racing. About the beauty of a horse running down the stretch and how I have no idea what I am doing in Handicapping a race. But then there was the moment of seeing Pauline's husband and hearing his laughter, God in disguise, and Daysi at the party, being SO excited to see me there. That was the hand of God too. They both made me feel the joy of God. Then there was Mother's Day, a day of mixed emotions for me. But nothing came together. Miss Maggie went swimming in the lake for the first time this year, I missed making dinner for Mother's Day. There are plenty of postings in all of that. Then there is the cake...which is going well so I don't have much to say on that so far.
So it is a week of busyness... I have things going on, perhaps I will form full thoughts on them later, but right now... Wow, I am busy. I will land the ship later.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
The Woods
There is a place that to me is a little bit of Heaven & Magic. I love going out to the woods, a 300 or so acre park or natural area, here in the heart of Fairfax County. There are a few streams running through it, hills, and paths intertwine. I love how it has been left up to nature (in most aspects) trees fall, paths change, and it evolves naturally over time. In a day and age where everything is accessible for all, and carefully managed and landscaped, it is wonderful to find a place that has been able to be left in its natural beauty, to the forces of nature and time.
I have grown up here, I have changed over time with these trees. Places have changed, things fallen and lost, new growth and changes. It is a place that challenges you, to test your skills and abilities. Trees have fallen on to the path challenging you to go around them and find a new way or to climb over and under them surmounting the obsticle in your way. The stream has wandered and changed, forged a new way bringing in rocks & sand, changing the banks and rapids, even washing away a bridge.There is a trail now that many years ago used to be a dirt road, now there is one dirt trail with grass growing on each side, who used to travel down this dirt road, where were they going. Like these woods time has made changes, small ones, big ones, things you can not see until years later when they are ready to be noticed, changes in me.
Like walking through the wardrobe, falling down the rabbit hole or sailing off into the mythical fog; A few steps in to the woods and you are lost from every one & every thing. The sounds of everyday mechanical life disappear replaced with birds chirping, unknown animals scampering around. You can let your mind run wild, for you don't know if around the next bend you will encounter a squirrel, birds, fox, deer, a snake or walk into a spider's web, or a magical talking wolf. You learn to take each step as it comes, to accept what is, and be prepared for the next.
Off the path I see a new trail beginning to form, not cleared away and clearly marked, but just a faint path of crushed leaves & I follow it. Slowly the trail fades away and I am in a magical space. Fields of ferns slowly unfolding in the morning warmth, I wonder of the mythical brownies, fairies & trolls that live among them. I also wonder of who was here before me. These trees have been growing for hundreds of years; Others must have come and walked here too, who were they, what were their stories, did they come hunting for food? Fallen trees lay one after the other like dominoes and you wonder if anyone heard them fall. I also think of how did they fall? Was it a strong wind storm? or just time to lay down. In the new pool of sunlight created, there is new growth an explosion of young trees and plants reaching for the sky, the race to see who will get to be the tallest.
I grew up here, walked these paths for many years and made a few new ones along the way. As a kid I used to run through the woods making my own way discovering, but now I stay on the trail as if stepping off I would be lost and not able to return. Am I afraid to take a chance, to find new worlds, to find my own path instead of following where others have gone? Perhaps, I am. Perhaps as you grow older you don't need a great challenge to have change occur. You accept that over time small changes happen and the path is never the same. Perhaps you know that in life you have to stay on the main path, that you can wander off for awhile to discover new things, but you return to that path as adult life requires you to remain the same and make small changes over time.
I am ready to jump off that worn path and forge on my own, but I still need to gather my bread crumbs to leave to be able to find my way back if I should need it. Though while I look at these woods as a place to change and challenge myself. I also look to the woods for comfort and security, that the trees and paths will be the same as before and will always welcome me back. Even as it & I change, I still find my sense of self here in the Woods.
I have grown up here, I have changed over time with these trees. Places have changed, things fallen and lost, new growth and changes. It is a place that challenges you, to test your skills and abilities. Trees have fallen on to the path challenging you to go around them and find a new way or to climb over and under them surmounting the obsticle in your way. The stream has wandered and changed, forged a new way bringing in rocks & sand, changing the banks and rapids, even washing away a bridge.There is a trail now that many years ago used to be a dirt road, now there is one dirt trail with grass growing on each side, who used to travel down this dirt road, where were they going. Like these woods time has made changes, small ones, big ones, things you can not see until years later when they are ready to be noticed, changes in me.
Like walking through the wardrobe, falling down the rabbit hole or sailing off into the mythical fog; A few steps in to the woods and you are lost from every one & every thing. The sounds of everyday mechanical life disappear replaced with birds chirping, unknown animals scampering around. You can let your mind run wild, for you don't know if around the next bend you will encounter a squirrel, birds, fox, deer, a snake or walk into a spider's web, or a magical talking wolf. You learn to take each step as it comes, to accept what is, and be prepared for the next.
Off the path I see a new trail beginning to form, not cleared away and clearly marked, but just a faint path of crushed leaves & I follow it. Slowly the trail fades away and I am in a magical space. Fields of ferns slowly unfolding in the morning warmth, I wonder of the mythical brownies, fairies & trolls that live among them. I also wonder of who was here before me. These trees have been growing for hundreds of years; Others must have come and walked here too, who were they, what were their stories, did they come hunting for food? Fallen trees lay one after the other like dominoes and you wonder if anyone heard them fall. I also think of how did they fall? Was it a strong wind storm? or just time to lay down. In the new pool of sunlight created, there is new growth an explosion of young trees and plants reaching for the sky, the race to see who will get to be the tallest.
I grew up here, walked these paths for many years and made a few new ones along the way. As a kid I used to run through the woods making my own way discovering, but now I stay on the trail as if stepping off I would be lost and not able to return. Am I afraid to take a chance, to find new worlds, to find my own path instead of following where others have gone? Perhaps, I am. Perhaps as you grow older you don't need a great challenge to have change occur. You accept that over time small changes happen and the path is never the same. Perhaps you know that in life you have to stay on the main path, that you can wander off for awhile to discover new things, but you return to that path as adult life requires you to remain the same and make small changes over time.
I am ready to jump off that worn path and forge on my own, but I still need to gather my bread crumbs to leave to be able to find my way back if I should need it. Though while I look at these woods as a place to change and challenge myself. I also look to the woods for comfort and security, that the trees and paths will be the same as before and will always welcome me back. Even as it & I change, I still find my sense of self here in the Woods.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Fresh Paint & a New You
I have been painting lately, no not a great work of art like Rembrandt, Picasso, or Monet.. I have been painting the house, room by room. I have found colors on the reject, messed up rack at Home Depot. You can get a gallon of paint for $5.00... but you have to accept the choices you are given, there are no requests to be made, you take what comes, what you get and make do. A lot like life.
Out of about 10 areas, I have painted 5 fully, 2 partially, and I have come to a realization. Fresh paint is like creating a new you. I have found that you enter a different mindset when you paint versus living in the same white walls. By painting I find you commit to deal with the issues, to accept the good & the bad & live with it. You can change the bad, for in changing the bad it is like changing the paint, this is an external process but causes internal changes. You are changing or wanting to change instead of just accepting the same old situation.
I feel a sense of permanence when I paint a room. I no longer feel I am living in an apartment that I can move from easily. I have ownership, the place is mine and I can do what I want with it. I could paint the place in bold wild colors, blue, black, red, stripes or polka dots and not have to worry about changing it until I am ready to leave.
Painting also makes you create a commitment. You take time to decide to a color but once it is on the walls there is no going back you have committed to finishing out the room in that color. While you can repaint the walls or change your mind, you are committed to initial aspects of painting and following through.
You are restoring something back to new, taking away the scratches, the scuff marks and discoloration, making it clean and new again, a new start.
What I have found in painting is a new individuality and pride in doing it myself. I have a new sense of confidence in standing back and looking at a room that I have changed and made over. At first it is a bit overwhelming as taping the room, preparing it to paint, piece by piece you are moving closer to the changes but you still feel like it is such a big project. If you keep at it and persevere you make progress, changes and at some point can step back and see what has occurred, it inspires you to keep going and finish it out, to finishes the changes. Much like in changing yourself, at first it is a huge project, you can be discouraged, tempted back into your old ways, but if you keep at it one step at a time you make progress & at some point you can step back and see the progress you have made.
Out of about 10 areas, I have painted 5 fully, 2 partially, and I have come to a realization. Fresh paint is like creating a new you. I have found that you enter a different mindset when you paint versus living in the same white walls. By painting I find you commit to deal with the issues, to accept the good & the bad & live with it. You can change the bad, for in changing the bad it is like changing the paint, this is an external process but causes internal changes. You are changing or wanting to change instead of just accepting the same old situation.
I feel a sense of permanence when I paint a room. I no longer feel I am living in an apartment that I can move from easily. I have ownership, the place is mine and I can do what I want with it. I could paint the place in bold wild colors, blue, black, red, stripes or polka dots and not have to worry about changing it until I am ready to leave.
Painting also makes you create a commitment. You take time to decide to a color but once it is on the walls there is no going back you have committed to finishing out the room in that color. While you can repaint the walls or change your mind, you are committed to initial aspects of painting and following through.
You are restoring something back to new, taking away the scratches, the scuff marks and discoloration, making it clean and new again, a new start.
What I have found in painting is a new individuality and pride in doing it myself. I have a new sense of confidence in standing back and looking at a room that I have changed and made over. At first it is a bit overwhelming as taping the room, preparing it to paint, piece by piece you are moving closer to the changes but you still feel like it is such a big project. If you keep at it and persevere you make progress, changes and at some point can step back and see what has occurred, it inspires you to keep going and finish it out, to finishes the changes. Much like in changing yourself, at first it is a huge project, you can be discouraged, tempted back into your old ways, but if you keep at it one step at a time you make progress & at some point you can step back and see the progress you have made.
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