10 years ago I started something called Maggie's Chronicles through email. I would send out thoughts, events, happenings to a group of people, about the antics of my puppy; for that was what was available.... I started this blog as a "modern" posting of stories, thoughts, events, and perhaps opinions, through the eyes of my dog. It was a big project, I faltered over time. Now I think I am in need of Maggie's Chronicles again.
I want to believe our 4 legged friends live forever, that you have all the time you will ever need, but they get older and their lives unfortunately are so much shorter than ours. Miss Maggie turned 10 this year, "Old Lady" age, this summer she seemed to slow down, she was gray, age was showing, I was hoping for 2 good years, 3 if I am lucky and praying for 4. But God has his own plans and they don't always follow ours.
Christmas Day night (the 25th) Miss Maggie stumbled and fell, she got back up and was alright. The next morning walk all was alright, our next walk proved to change things. She stopped leaned up against a tree and paused, I could tell she was not feeling right, further along she sat, then laid down... I knew then that we were off to the Vet. Upon arriving they found fluid in her belly and sent us off to the Emergency Vet. There we found the fluid was around her heart sac, in the pericardial sac. This was certain death. The fluid was drained and she bounced back right away. They kept her the night, some fluid returned, they tried to drain that but couldn't get it all. Cardiology doctors looked at her heart, it was good, strong, she did not have a heart problem. This was good news, encouraging.
As I arrived to pick her up that evening, the results of the first tap were back. She has Lymphoma, Cancer... one that is not curable but treatable. So it was up to talk with the Oncologist to figure out what this means. We have no answers yet, options, but not sure what they really are. Last night they started her on Chemotherapy Elspar... I figured she needed a chance, give it a shot, try a dose, see in a week what it does, is the Cancer going away or not, is she better or not. Then we can redefine what our options are with better information.
Oh I know there is cost, there is sickness, there is limits on time, but most of all there is Quality of Life... I hope to keep foremost in my mind. This is to be about her Quality of Life, not about my wishes... and it will be another hard decision I will have to make in life. I hope with the support, insight, and reason of the great people who will read this, I will be able to know and do what is right for Miss Maggie, to give her the best life and chance I can. I only hope that one day someone loves me enough to do the same for me.
Most of all that look in her eyes of excitement & life there at the beach, playing in the waves, is what drives me. As long as that look is there then she deserves all I can offer her.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
working on it
HI,
Yes, I am around, I am here, I am still around.
I took time off for the summer, was going to post something during Mid-Summer, then the magic day was Labor Day... okay maybe after my birthday.... I will get back into it. I just have been well... taking a break. (and out of ideas for a bit)
So hang in there I am working on it. As you all know the creative process can not be forced... and for me right now... mine is hanging out at the pool... (which is closing soon)
Yes, I am around, I am here, I am still around.
I took time off for the summer, was going to post something during Mid-Summer, then the magic day was Labor Day... okay maybe after my birthday.... I will get back into it. I just have been well... taking a break. (and out of ideas for a bit)
So hang in there I am working on it. As you all know the creative process can not be forced... and for me right now... mine is hanging out at the pool... (which is closing soon)
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Tennis Balls
I think we have finally reached maximum level of Tennis Balls allowed in the house. Recently while cleaning I counted them, 4 in the kitchen, 3 in the hall, 4 bedroom, 2 under the bed, 1 in the closet, 6 in the living room and 2 in the couch. I think of the process in how all these came to be in the house, while not having bought a single one. Maggie has found them all & like a new treasure carried them home. Living near tennis courts helps in our search.
It is a ritual of sorts. We we go out for a late night walk, head on the path that takes us by the tennis courts. She knows when the court lights are off then it is okay to pull me up to the door and ask to go in. Quietly we enter, she sits to have her leash removed and then the great search has begun. She is off on a systematic search that has not varied. This is of her own creation, I have tried to go a different way, she ignores me and runs around the perimeter checking the corners, under the side canvases and under the benches. A pile of leaves in the corner leads to a thorough search. Sometimes this results in a ball which follows with a run to the center of the court & looking at me saying "want to see what I found? You have to chase me." At which we then run and chase having a grand time with a new found treasure that I am not allowed to see.
If nothing was found she is off to the middle door separating the courts. First waiting, then asking if she can go, Maggie pushes open the door and is off on another search in the same pattern as the first. Sometimes this results in 2 or 3 balls being found and a game of catch will occur.
After she is finished with her search & rounds she heads back to the middle door, it is time to leave she is finished. I always amazes me how she enters & leaves through the same door. She will open the middle door herself but will not the outer doors. It is as if the other exterior door does not exist.
Yes, I believe Dogs are creatures of thought processes. There is something going on behind those big eyes.
If we have found a ball and it is time to leave, that ball is carried with us. Sometimes if there are multiple balls she tries to carry all of them home. I try to explain that we should only take one and leave the rest for others. Sometimes this occurs and sometimes she insists on 2 balls which she manages to carry in her mouth. The rule is she is needs to carry them home, which she proudly does.
Up on leaving she heads straight for home anxious to bring her new found treasure home. This leads to the next hour or so of her guarding & carrying that ball around. She doesn't confuse it with the "old" balls, this is the new one and favored one until we find another the next evening.
It is a ritual of sorts. We we go out for a late night walk, head on the path that takes us by the tennis courts. She knows when the court lights are off then it is okay to pull me up to the door and ask to go in. Quietly we enter, she sits to have her leash removed and then the great search has begun. She is off on a systematic search that has not varied. This is of her own creation, I have tried to go a different way, she ignores me and runs around the perimeter checking the corners, under the side canvases and under the benches. A pile of leaves in the corner leads to a thorough search. Sometimes this results in a ball which follows with a run to the center of the court & looking at me saying "want to see what I found? You have to chase me." At which we then run and chase having a grand time with a new found treasure that I am not allowed to see.
If nothing was found she is off to the middle door separating the courts. First waiting, then asking if she can go, Maggie pushes open the door and is off on another search in the same pattern as the first. Sometimes this results in 2 or 3 balls being found and a game of catch will occur.
After she is finished with her search & rounds she heads back to the middle door, it is time to leave she is finished. I always amazes me how she enters & leaves through the same door. She will open the middle door herself but will not the outer doors. It is as if the other exterior door does not exist.
Yes, I believe Dogs are creatures of thought processes. There is something going on behind those big eyes.
If we have found a ball and it is time to leave, that ball is carried with us. Sometimes if there are multiple balls she tries to carry all of them home. I try to explain that we should only take one and leave the rest for others. Sometimes this occurs and sometimes she insists on 2 balls which she manages to carry in her mouth. The rule is she is needs to carry them home, which she proudly does.
Up on leaving she heads straight for home anxious to bring her new found treasure home. This leads to the next hour or so of her guarding & carrying that ball around. She doesn't confuse it with the "old" balls, this is the new one and favored one until we find another the next evening.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Decisions & Obligations...
This is nothing as "important" as before. But still, this week has been Decisions & Obligations.... I obligated myself to making a cake, so that is first priority, I also have a class each week, and a follow up dinner this week, then there are the calendars, and work. Decisions... I want to go to the gym, to the pool, to walk the dog, I need to finish the test in the studying I am doing, and I am having fun with the Candy Clay flowers involved in this cake. Added to all that is Mother's Day which I must be involved with, and My Sister's birthday which I just need to acknowledge, gift is a bonus. Beyond that there was a friends, a child's birthday, and then the Preakness. One action packed week. So I added a birthday cake for this weekend and work has decided to go on a schedule of craziness. Oh what am I to do?
The cake is going well, working well, and rather damn cool if I do say so. I am in a quandary about being paid for this. While they are willing to pay, and will, I am just not sure what to really charge... I mean my time is money, but still. Is it worth that much.
I have had a grand week over all, I have seen God a few times, searched a few times, and just well left everything up to him a few times too. I have wondered what to address this week's blog too... and I have come to the conclusion that I am not quite ready for this week to come about.
At first I was going to write about the Preakness and my obsession with racing. About the beauty of a horse running down the stretch and how I have no idea what I am doing in Handicapping a race. But then there was the moment of seeing Pauline's husband and hearing his laughter, God in disguise, and Daysi at the party, being SO excited to see me there. That was the hand of God too. They both made me feel the joy of God. Then there was Mother's Day, a day of mixed emotions for me. But nothing came together. Miss Maggie went swimming in the lake for the first time this year, I missed making dinner for Mother's Day. There are plenty of postings in all of that. Then there is the cake...which is going well so I don't have much to say on that so far.
So it is a week of busyness... I have things going on, perhaps I will form full thoughts on them later, but right now... Wow, I am busy. I will land the ship later.
The cake is going well, working well, and rather damn cool if I do say so. I am in a quandary about being paid for this. While they are willing to pay, and will, I am just not sure what to really charge... I mean my time is money, but still. Is it worth that much.
I have had a grand week over all, I have seen God a few times, searched a few times, and just well left everything up to him a few times too. I have wondered what to address this week's blog too... and I have come to the conclusion that I am not quite ready for this week to come about.
At first I was going to write about the Preakness and my obsession with racing. About the beauty of a horse running down the stretch and how I have no idea what I am doing in Handicapping a race. But then there was the moment of seeing Pauline's husband and hearing his laughter, God in disguise, and Daysi at the party, being SO excited to see me there. That was the hand of God too. They both made me feel the joy of God. Then there was Mother's Day, a day of mixed emotions for me. But nothing came together. Miss Maggie went swimming in the lake for the first time this year, I missed making dinner for Mother's Day. There are plenty of postings in all of that. Then there is the cake...which is going well so I don't have much to say on that so far.
So it is a week of busyness... I have things going on, perhaps I will form full thoughts on them later, but right now... Wow, I am busy. I will land the ship later.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
The Woods
There is a place that to me is a little bit of Heaven & Magic. I love going out to the woods, a 300 or so acre park or natural area, here in the heart of Fairfax County. There are a few streams running through it, hills, and paths intertwine. I love how it has been left up to nature (in most aspects) trees fall, paths change, and it evolves naturally over time. In a day and age where everything is accessible for all, and carefully managed and landscaped, it is wonderful to find a place that has been able to be left in its natural beauty, to the forces of nature and time.
I have grown up here, I have changed over time with these trees. Places have changed, things fallen and lost, new growth and changes. It is a place that challenges you, to test your skills and abilities. Trees have fallen on to the path challenging you to go around them and find a new way or to climb over and under them surmounting the obsticle in your way. The stream has wandered and changed, forged a new way bringing in rocks & sand, changing the banks and rapids, even washing away a bridge.There is a trail now that many years ago used to be a dirt road, now there is one dirt trail with grass growing on each side, who used to travel down this dirt road, where were they going. Like these woods time has made changes, small ones, big ones, things you can not see until years later when they are ready to be noticed, changes in me.
Like walking through the wardrobe, falling down the rabbit hole or sailing off into the mythical fog; A few steps in to the woods and you are lost from every one & every thing. The sounds of everyday mechanical life disappear replaced with birds chirping, unknown animals scampering around. You can let your mind run wild, for you don't know if around the next bend you will encounter a squirrel, birds, fox, deer, a snake or walk into a spider's web, or a magical talking wolf. You learn to take each step as it comes, to accept what is, and be prepared for the next.
Off the path I see a new trail beginning to form, not cleared away and clearly marked, but just a faint path of crushed leaves & I follow it. Slowly the trail fades away and I am in a magical space. Fields of ferns slowly unfolding in the morning warmth, I wonder of the mythical brownies, fairies & trolls that live among them. I also wonder of who was here before me. These trees have been growing for hundreds of years; Others must have come and walked here too, who were they, what were their stories, did they come hunting for food? Fallen trees lay one after the other like dominoes and you wonder if anyone heard them fall. I also think of how did they fall? Was it a strong wind storm? or just time to lay down. In the new pool of sunlight created, there is new growth an explosion of young trees and plants reaching for the sky, the race to see who will get to be the tallest.
I grew up here, walked these paths for many years and made a few new ones along the way. As a kid I used to run through the woods making my own way discovering, but now I stay on the trail as if stepping off I would be lost and not able to return. Am I afraid to take a chance, to find new worlds, to find my own path instead of following where others have gone? Perhaps, I am. Perhaps as you grow older you don't need a great challenge to have change occur. You accept that over time small changes happen and the path is never the same. Perhaps you know that in life you have to stay on the main path, that you can wander off for awhile to discover new things, but you return to that path as adult life requires you to remain the same and make small changes over time.
I am ready to jump off that worn path and forge on my own, but I still need to gather my bread crumbs to leave to be able to find my way back if I should need it. Though while I look at these woods as a place to change and challenge myself. I also look to the woods for comfort and security, that the trees and paths will be the same as before and will always welcome me back. Even as it & I change, I still find my sense of self here in the Woods.
I have grown up here, I have changed over time with these trees. Places have changed, things fallen and lost, new growth and changes. It is a place that challenges you, to test your skills and abilities. Trees have fallen on to the path challenging you to go around them and find a new way or to climb over and under them surmounting the obsticle in your way. The stream has wandered and changed, forged a new way bringing in rocks & sand, changing the banks and rapids, even washing away a bridge.There is a trail now that many years ago used to be a dirt road, now there is one dirt trail with grass growing on each side, who used to travel down this dirt road, where were they going. Like these woods time has made changes, small ones, big ones, things you can not see until years later when they are ready to be noticed, changes in me.
Like walking through the wardrobe, falling down the rabbit hole or sailing off into the mythical fog; A few steps in to the woods and you are lost from every one & every thing. The sounds of everyday mechanical life disappear replaced with birds chirping, unknown animals scampering around. You can let your mind run wild, for you don't know if around the next bend you will encounter a squirrel, birds, fox, deer, a snake or walk into a spider's web, or a magical talking wolf. You learn to take each step as it comes, to accept what is, and be prepared for the next.
Off the path I see a new trail beginning to form, not cleared away and clearly marked, but just a faint path of crushed leaves & I follow it. Slowly the trail fades away and I am in a magical space. Fields of ferns slowly unfolding in the morning warmth, I wonder of the mythical brownies, fairies & trolls that live among them. I also wonder of who was here before me. These trees have been growing for hundreds of years; Others must have come and walked here too, who were they, what were their stories, did they come hunting for food? Fallen trees lay one after the other like dominoes and you wonder if anyone heard them fall. I also think of how did they fall? Was it a strong wind storm? or just time to lay down. In the new pool of sunlight created, there is new growth an explosion of young trees and plants reaching for the sky, the race to see who will get to be the tallest.
I grew up here, walked these paths for many years and made a few new ones along the way. As a kid I used to run through the woods making my own way discovering, but now I stay on the trail as if stepping off I would be lost and not able to return. Am I afraid to take a chance, to find new worlds, to find my own path instead of following where others have gone? Perhaps, I am. Perhaps as you grow older you don't need a great challenge to have change occur. You accept that over time small changes happen and the path is never the same. Perhaps you know that in life you have to stay on the main path, that you can wander off for awhile to discover new things, but you return to that path as adult life requires you to remain the same and make small changes over time.
I am ready to jump off that worn path and forge on my own, but I still need to gather my bread crumbs to leave to be able to find my way back if I should need it. Though while I look at these woods as a place to change and challenge myself. I also look to the woods for comfort and security, that the trees and paths will be the same as before and will always welcome me back. Even as it & I change, I still find my sense of self here in the Woods.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Fresh Paint & a New You
I have been painting lately, no not a great work of art like Rembrandt, Picasso, or Monet.. I have been painting the house, room by room. I have found colors on the reject, messed up rack at Home Depot. You can get a gallon of paint for $5.00... but you have to accept the choices you are given, there are no requests to be made, you take what comes, what you get and make do. A lot like life.
Out of about 10 areas, I have painted 5 fully, 2 partially, and I have come to a realization. Fresh paint is like creating a new you. I have found that you enter a different mindset when you paint versus living in the same white walls. By painting I find you commit to deal with the issues, to accept the good & the bad & live with it. You can change the bad, for in changing the bad it is like changing the paint, this is an external process but causes internal changes. You are changing or wanting to change instead of just accepting the same old situation.
I feel a sense of permanence when I paint a room. I no longer feel I am living in an apartment that I can move from easily. I have ownership, the place is mine and I can do what I want with it. I could paint the place in bold wild colors, blue, black, red, stripes or polka dots and not have to worry about changing it until I am ready to leave.
Painting also makes you create a commitment. You take time to decide to a color but once it is on the walls there is no going back you have committed to finishing out the room in that color. While you can repaint the walls or change your mind, you are committed to initial aspects of painting and following through.
You are restoring something back to new, taking away the scratches, the scuff marks and discoloration, making it clean and new again, a new start.
What I have found in painting is a new individuality and pride in doing it myself. I have a new sense of confidence in standing back and looking at a room that I have changed and made over. At first it is a bit overwhelming as taping the room, preparing it to paint, piece by piece you are moving closer to the changes but you still feel like it is such a big project. If you keep at it and persevere you make progress, changes and at some point can step back and see what has occurred, it inspires you to keep going and finish it out, to finishes the changes. Much like in changing yourself, at first it is a huge project, you can be discouraged, tempted back into your old ways, but if you keep at it one step at a time you make progress & at some point you can step back and see the progress you have made.
Out of about 10 areas, I have painted 5 fully, 2 partially, and I have come to a realization. Fresh paint is like creating a new you. I have found that you enter a different mindset when you paint versus living in the same white walls. By painting I find you commit to deal with the issues, to accept the good & the bad & live with it. You can change the bad, for in changing the bad it is like changing the paint, this is an external process but causes internal changes. You are changing or wanting to change instead of just accepting the same old situation.
I feel a sense of permanence when I paint a room. I no longer feel I am living in an apartment that I can move from easily. I have ownership, the place is mine and I can do what I want with it. I could paint the place in bold wild colors, blue, black, red, stripes or polka dots and not have to worry about changing it until I am ready to leave.
Painting also makes you create a commitment. You take time to decide to a color but once it is on the walls there is no going back you have committed to finishing out the room in that color. While you can repaint the walls or change your mind, you are committed to initial aspects of painting and following through.
You are restoring something back to new, taking away the scratches, the scuff marks and discoloration, making it clean and new again, a new start.
What I have found in painting is a new individuality and pride in doing it myself. I have a new sense of confidence in standing back and looking at a room that I have changed and made over. At first it is a bit overwhelming as taping the room, preparing it to paint, piece by piece you are moving closer to the changes but you still feel like it is such a big project. If you keep at it and persevere you make progress, changes and at some point can step back and see what has occurred, it inspires you to keep going and finish it out, to finishes the changes. Much like in changing yourself, at first it is a huge project, you can be discouraged, tempted back into your old ways, but if you keep at it one step at a time you make progress & at some point you can step back and see the progress you have made.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Words Hurt....
It is the people that are closest to us that hurt us the most, and yet they are also the people that are also the furthest from us. I am trying to be strong, to not let it hurt me. Perhaps they didn't mean what they said, perhaps they don't realize, perhaps they don't know. But it is those that are not suppose to hurt us that do hurt us the most with their words, unknowingly.
Each of us have memories of our childhoods, our lives, these memories form our perception of the way life is, our interpretation. 5 people can go through the exact same situation and have 5 totally different stories to tell about it. But no matter what, this is what makes us into the person we are, formulates our personality, our lives, and we are the ones that have to live our lives.I am trying to remember this at the moment, but still it doesn't make the harsh words hurt any less.
To lay it all out, my sister and I do not get along, we do not understand each other, or more correctly I do not understand her, and often it is the words from family members that hurt the most. I try to believe that she does not realize this, that she does not understand how what she says hurts me so much. Since my family really never communicated and talked about our feelings how could she know that her random Facebook posts about how she loves being a mother, really hurt me, as I am not a mother. Or how does she understand that her emails back are often hurtful.
So between the tears and pain, I am trying not to read between the lines, and taking it for what it is. For I am sure that I have done the same to them.
Still it is the people that are closest to us that hurt us the most. I am trying to understand why, and accepting that I may never know. I wish that we all could be more sensitive to others, to their pains and hurts, to understand why they do not fully feel empowered, or understand how we can empower them.
All in all it doesn't really matter, for we hurt, we cry, we morn, we sleep and awake the next day to reach out again and try again, hoping this time will be different. Just knowing one day we will understand it all.
But in the wake of it all, it is the support and kindness of others that boost me up. I reach out on Facebook myself and find "friends" that reach out, pull me up, hold me up, and let me know that once, for a time I was an important, positive part of their lives, that I have affected them, that I made a difference, and that I do matter. And for all of that I am forever grateful, for is those moments that keep me going, help me to wake up each day and try again, reminding me that I do matter, and for that reason alone I keep going on. I love all of you. Thank you.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Hope, Faith & Expectations
The word of the week has been Hope. A positive, exciting, never ending word that opens up all kinds of feelings for me. Hope to me is like the ocean, forever reaching, never ending, possibilities.
Upon stating that the word of the day (which became the week) was Hope, it created a whole world of conversation, ideas and thoughts. The laughter in the room and what followed through out the day when I said I had Hope was pleasing. I believe that what happened was everyone looked inside, thought of the moments that they had Hope, that had positive outcomes and those good feelings welled up, they wanted to share them. We laughed, we smiled, we felt better, just by the word, the suggestion of Hope.
Then someone said... "do not have hope for you will only be let down in your expectations. It is better to not have hope and you will be happy with what you receive." The bucket of cold water was thrown upon all of us. But those that fully believe, have faith, hung on to their hope and dried themselves off. Fighting back with all we could, that person who tried to bring in despair & reality was pushed back and Hope was Victorious. This went on through out the week.
How is hope, faith, expectations, and belief all tied in together? I think in many ways they are one in the same and can not exist with out the other. It is not specific to religion but, I have faith in Jesus & God, how do I maintain this faith? I have no tangible proof, no facts on what happens after you die. I just believe that there is more than just this to life, I believe there is a greater purpose.
I found out that while trying to not have hope. To just accept the way everything was that I could not just accept. I kept having hope that it could be better, that there is more than what meets the eye. Am I really the eternal optimist? The glass is half full person. I could not separate the Hope from the belief, from the faith. The despair, no expectations & acceptance that this was all there way, the way it will be, was just so depressing to me that I had to turn it away. I have to believe, I have to have hope, for it is what gets me up out of bed everyday, helps me to keep going, keeps me trying to be a better, kinder person.
I am reminded of the movie "The Neverending Story" how at the end Bastian is holding the last wish, what makes the whole universe live. If he gave up and didn't believe the world would cease to exist all of Fantasia would disappear. So hang on to your Hope and create new worlds.
Try it for a day, tell everyone the word for the day is Hope, and see the reactions. It will brighten your day.
Upon stating that the word of the day (which became the week) was Hope, it created a whole world of conversation, ideas and thoughts. The laughter in the room and what followed through out the day when I said I had Hope was pleasing. I believe that what happened was everyone looked inside, thought of the moments that they had Hope, that had positive outcomes and those good feelings welled up, they wanted to share them. We laughed, we smiled, we felt better, just by the word, the suggestion of Hope.
Then someone said... "do not have hope for you will only be let down in your expectations. It is better to not have hope and you will be happy with what you receive." The bucket of cold water was thrown upon all of us. But those that fully believe, have faith, hung on to their hope and dried themselves off. Fighting back with all we could, that person who tried to bring in despair & reality was pushed back and Hope was Victorious. This went on through out the week.
How is hope, faith, expectations, and belief all tied in together? I think in many ways they are one in the same and can not exist with out the other. It is not specific to religion but, I have faith in Jesus & God, how do I maintain this faith? I have no tangible proof, no facts on what happens after you die. I just believe that there is more than just this to life, I believe there is a greater purpose.
I found out that while trying to not have hope. To just accept the way everything was that I could not just accept. I kept having hope that it could be better, that there is more than what meets the eye. Am I really the eternal optimist? The glass is half full person. I could not separate the Hope from the belief, from the faith. The despair, no expectations & acceptance that this was all there way, the way it will be, was just so depressing to me that I had to turn it away. I have to believe, I have to have hope, for it is what gets me up out of bed everyday, helps me to keep going, keeps me trying to be a better, kinder person.
I am reminded of the movie "The Neverending Story" how at the end Bastian is holding the last wish, what makes the whole universe live. If he gave up and didn't believe the world would cease to exist all of Fantasia would disappear. So hang on to your Hope and create new worlds.
Try it for a day, tell everyone the word for the day is Hope, and see the reactions. It will brighten your day.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Decisions
Decisions are something that I don't particularly like making and are rather difficult, but being a single person for all these years, I have had to learn how. Choosing a place for dinner, or what to eat takes me about 20 minutes or so, but that is because I like and will eat most anything.
Then there are those BIG decisions, the ones that have an effect on your life or others. Sometimes we need to make decisions that are difficult, sometimes we need to let people down. I have had such a week, I had to decide that I can not go to Texas to my God Daughter's senior recital. I have been agonizing over this for about 2 weeks, and this week I finally accepted that I just can't go. I am letting her down, I am not "being there" for her though I said I always would. But the long and the short of it is that I can't go.
While I want to support her dreams and accomplishments, I can't sacrifice my goals. I have been working towards a particular goal for the past 5 years and the end is in sight. Also I feel that if I take care of my situation I will be in a better position to help her in the future to reach her Goal. I hope that she sees it that way, one day.
Sometimes there are things that you have to do and you have to have the strength and focus to stick to it.
Why is it that we agonize over putting ourselves first? That we feel we are unworthy, or selfish when we decide to do things that take care of ourselves? I find this a strange, odd way of thinking that when we take care of our own situation, help ourselves, we are not relying on others to help us, so then we are helping others since they will not have the burden of taking care of us. As a teenager & young adult I really did not understand this, but now in my "Mid-life" I have figured this out, if I arrange all my arrangements, finances, and such, then this takes the burden off of others to allow them to live their lives to the fullest.
It troubles me that I have let her down. It troubles me about a lot of things that I have not been able to do. I only know that I am on the right path, I am staying on track and heading towards the finish line. That finish line will bring many prizes to all the winners. This is something I have to do.
Then there are those BIG decisions, the ones that have an effect on your life or others. Sometimes we need to make decisions that are difficult, sometimes we need to let people down. I have had such a week, I had to decide that I can not go to Texas to my God Daughter's senior recital. I have been agonizing over this for about 2 weeks, and this week I finally accepted that I just can't go. I am letting her down, I am not "being there" for her though I said I always would. But the long and the short of it is that I can't go.
While I want to support her dreams and accomplishments, I can't sacrifice my goals. I have been working towards a particular goal for the past 5 years and the end is in sight. Also I feel that if I take care of my situation I will be in a better position to help her in the future to reach her Goal. I hope that she sees it that way, one day.
Sometimes there are things that you have to do and you have to have the strength and focus to stick to it.
Why is it that we agonize over putting ourselves first? That we feel we are unworthy, or selfish when we decide to do things that take care of ourselves? I find this a strange, odd way of thinking that when we take care of our own situation, help ourselves, we are not relying on others to help us, so then we are helping others since they will not have the burden of taking care of us. As a teenager & young adult I really did not understand this, but now in my "Mid-life" I have figured this out, if I arrange all my arrangements, finances, and such, then this takes the burden off of others to allow them to live their lives to the fullest.
It troubles me that I have let her down. It troubles me about a lot of things that I have not been able to do. I only know that I am on the right path, I am staying on track and heading towards the finish line. That finish line will bring many prizes to all the winners. This is something I have to do.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Is it really "fine"?
Everything is fine. In the grand scheme of the world, yes it is.
But is it really fine, all the time? Does it have to be a constant steady state? Or is it allowed to involve the ups & downs, highs & lows? For truly only then can the average be "fine".
If it is always just fine wouldn't there be a loss of value? Times that are "really wonderful" would not be as appreciated as there would not be a contrasting "really terrible" to weigh it against. I associate this with living at the equator, which I have not done and if I did I wouldn't lose the value of it I am sure. When one is at the equator there is consistency, the weather is often the same, a balmy 83deg, low humidity. Sunlight and darkness are of equal length, the seasons are the same. While I can fully appreciate that and make full use of it, I can only do this having lived a bit north of the equator for some time, and even visiting south. Would I be out on a 73 deg day in March walking the dog just because it is warm? Or would I put it off and say, "there is tomorrow". But I didn't, I went out there and walked and saw the Dizzy Daffodils along the way.
So while I love my warm weather and wish away the cold dreary winter for the hot, sweltering days of July. I know that the ice age will not last forever, we will not be trapped in the "snowmageddon" of 2010 for months on end. Soon I will be melting in the 90+ deg with 90%+ humidity. I will savor sitting on the deck on a 65 deg night eating ice cream in March. I will take the time to walk slowly through the Cherry Blossoms, and be thankful for all the pollen when I forget the allergy medication. Because I know that tomorrow just might bring 6 inches of snow and -15 deg for we have had snow at Easter before.
Okay that being said..... NO, all is NOT fine! I have tried to find my positivity, to find the happiness, to find some uplifting, inspiring, words of wisdom to pass on to you. But this is my blog and therefore my life. I am on a down trip right now, a bit cranky one would say, I am trying to find the time to just wallow in my self pity and yet the real world, your reality, your "fine"-ness keeps creeping in. And I feel..... well.... fine.
I was brought up to always say "everything is great", when asked how I was doing. I was brought up that no one likes being around a cranky pants. I was brought up that even when the world is falling apart you are not to let anybody else know. What that led me to believe was that my feelings didn't matter, that what was important to me was really not that important. I have been fighting with this for the past week or so. What to say, what to write, try to make it happy, try to make others feel better. Well I don't feel happy, and I don't want too, why can't I just say "not so well". I would love to say "do you have 2 hours to sit and listen, do you really want to know?" Now all of that being said, I am now having a hard time keeping my cranky mood and by the end of this, yes everything will be fine.
I was trying to figure out how to say what is going on, in an interesting analogous way. All I could come up with was that I am driving through Nebraska right now. Now I have not been to Nebraska yet, and I am sure there are many wonderful places, but I imagine it as flat and the highways straight. Right now I am on the flat, straight, long highway stretching off into the distance, with fields of grain, and cows never ending. I am on the path of the same thing day after day, no hills, no valleys, and yet this is a great place to be. Every day brings you closer, every mile, every step brings you closer to the end, the goal, to change. So I should embrace the long, unending highway of Nebraska and not ask for the mountains of the Rockies.
Why as a World are we so afraid to sit & listen to others? Why do we feel we even need to ask people how they are when we really don't want to know. I think this is what really gets to me. I can't give voice to the emotions, I have to just smooth them over, I can't fully feel or express them to anyone, and that is a bit lonely. I have to do the acceptable thing and say "I am fine and how about you?" when I really don't care to know, and yet I am constantly faced with "how are you?"
During all this there is the craziness of Miss Maggie sitting on the other side of coffee table being totally put out since her cousin Chi is sitting next too me. This being so causes Maggie to slowly crawl under the table and push Chi out of the way, taking 20 minutes for this to happen. Chi, knowing that Maggie is the alpha dog relinquishes her place next to me and Maggie wiggles on over to lay upside down on my feet, as if she was there all along. This whole event brings a smile to my face and reminds me that yes... it is more than just "fine"... over all it is pretty darn wonderful.
But is it really fine, all the time? Does it have to be a constant steady state? Or is it allowed to involve the ups & downs, highs & lows? For truly only then can the average be "fine".
If it is always just fine wouldn't there be a loss of value? Times that are "really wonderful" would not be as appreciated as there would not be a contrasting "really terrible" to weigh it against. I associate this with living at the equator, which I have not done and if I did I wouldn't lose the value of it I am sure. When one is at the equator there is consistency, the weather is often the same, a balmy 83deg, low humidity. Sunlight and darkness are of equal length, the seasons are the same. While I can fully appreciate that and make full use of it, I can only do this having lived a bit north of the equator for some time, and even visiting south. Would I be out on a 73 deg day in March walking the dog just because it is warm? Or would I put it off and say, "there is tomorrow". But I didn't, I went out there and walked and saw the Dizzy Daffodils along the way.
So while I love my warm weather and wish away the cold dreary winter for the hot, sweltering days of July. I know that the ice age will not last forever, we will not be trapped in the "snowmageddon" of 2010 for months on end. Soon I will be melting in the 90+ deg with 90%+ humidity. I will savor sitting on the deck on a 65 deg night eating ice cream in March. I will take the time to walk slowly through the Cherry Blossoms, and be thankful for all the pollen when I forget the allergy medication. Because I know that tomorrow just might bring 6 inches of snow and -15 deg for we have had snow at Easter before.
Okay that being said..... NO, all is NOT fine! I have tried to find my positivity, to find the happiness, to find some uplifting, inspiring, words of wisdom to pass on to you. But this is my blog and therefore my life. I am on a down trip right now, a bit cranky one would say, I am trying to find the time to just wallow in my self pity and yet the real world, your reality, your "fine"-ness keeps creeping in. And I feel..... well.... fine.
I was brought up to always say "everything is great", when asked how I was doing. I was brought up that no one likes being around a cranky pants. I was brought up that even when the world is falling apart you are not to let anybody else know. What that led me to believe was that my feelings didn't matter, that what was important to me was really not that important. I have been fighting with this for the past week or so. What to say, what to write, try to make it happy, try to make others feel better. Well I don't feel happy, and I don't want too, why can't I just say "not so well". I would love to say "do you have 2 hours to sit and listen, do you really want to know?" Now all of that being said, I am now having a hard time keeping my cranky mood and by the end of this, yes everything will be fine.
I was trying to figure out how to say what is going on, in an interesting analogous way. All I could come up with was that I am driving through Nebraska right now. Now I have not been to Nebraska yet, and I am sure there are many wonderful places, but I imagine it as flat and the highways straight. Right now I am on the flat, straight, long highway stretching off into the distance, with fields of grain, and cows never ending. I am on the path of the same thing day after day, no hills, no valleys, and yet this is a great place to be. Every day brings you closer, every mile, every step brings you closer to the end, the goal, to change. So I should embrace the long, unending highway of Nebraska and not ask for the mountains of the Rockies.
Why as a World are we so afraid to sit & listen to others? Why do we feel we even need to ask people how they are when we really don't want to know. I think this is what really gets to me. I can't give voice to the emotions, I have to just smooth them over, I can't fully feel or express them to anyone, and that is a bit lonely. I have to do the acceptable thing and say "I am fine and how about you?" when I really don't care to know, and yet I am constantly faced with "how are you?"
During all this there is the craziness of Miss Maggie sitting on the other side of coffee table being totally put out since her cousin Chi is sitting next too me. This being so causes Maggie to slowly crawl under the table and push Chi out of the way, taking 20 minutes for this to happen. Chi, knowing that Maggie is the alpha dog relinquishes her place next to me and Maggie wiggles on over to lay upside down on my feet, as if she was there all along. This whole event brings a smile to my face and reminds me that yes... it is more than just "fine"... over all it is pretty darn wonderful.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Journeys...
21 Days make a habit, I think by that time you either keep it going or you give up, that 4th week is a challenge to see if it stays or goes. This is the 4th week of my Blog, and I am not sure if it stays or goes. It will stay, I want to keep this, especially with all the wonderful, positive support from everyone. But I have had a tough time this past week finding inspiration. Then it all came together at the last minute and ideas started to flow.
I was thinking on journeys through life and journeys that one starts for a particular reason but ends up discovering another along the way. How simple projects can lead you down intresting pathways and find new meanings, a new purpose. As in the story "Eat, Pray, Love" where after a divorce Liz travels to experience life in the aspect of each fully. To find a purpose, direction, meaning in life. The story of "Julia & Julie" where Julie decides to spice up her life by cooking her way through Julia Child's cookbook, which she then blogs about it. Each of these brought about revelations in each of their lives, a new perspective.
Humm, ideas there? Some, but I am not ready to take on a project such as that yet. But what would I do? Maybe travel to each State. Work on a project I did start years ago when driving across country of taking a picture of each "Welcome to... " state sign. If I could find someone to fund this adventure, it would make a great movie. Maybe follow the "Run to the Roses" trail of 3 year old's in prep races up to the Kentucky Derby, and on to the "Race for the Triple Crown". If you have a couple thousand for me to spend just let me know.
The fact of it all really is that life is a journey, and there are many experiences that you make into your own journey, and I have had many along the way.
One trait that seems to follow through all of these experiences is determination, sticking to it, following through. There are many times I have wanted to throw in the towel, but I can't I just have to finish it out. I have had "trials & tribulations" that I had to get through that were a matter of just getting through it. Later though, in looking back I have discovered lessons I have learned, traits I have developed, and a lot of Character that was built.
Maybe I have not experienced life to the fullest, maybe I am not the most successful, but I have found self-confidence in many aspects of my life, and as you will find out over the course of this "project" I am who I am. No, I don't think a movie will be made, or a reality TV show. Perhaps a best seller book though.... Most of all the real theme is that of Self-Confidence. That is really what I have been searching for and the revelation I have had. It took me 40 years to figure out what many do in High School, but well that is what makes me, ME!
I was thinking on journeys through life and journeys that one starts for a particular reason but ends up discovering another along the way. How simple projects can lead you down intresting pathways and find new meanings, a new purpose. As in the story "Eat, Pray, Love" where after a divorce Liz travels to experience life in the aspect of each fully. To find a purpose, direction, meaning in life. The story of "Julia & Julie" where Julie decides to spice up her life by cooking her way through Julia Child's cookbook, which she then blogs about it. Each of these brought about revelations in each of their lives, a new perspective.
Humm, ideas there? Some, but I am not ready to take on a project such as that yet. But what would I do? Maybe travel to each State. Work on a project I did start years ago when driving across country of taking a picture of each "Welcome to... " state sign. If I could find someone to fund this adventure, it would make a great movie. Maybe follow the "Run to the Roses" trail of 3 year old's in prep races up to the Kentucky Derby, and on to the "Race for the Triple Crown". If you have a couple thousand for me to spend just let me know.
The fact of it all really is that life is a journey, and there are many experiences that you make into your own journey, and I have had many along the way.
One trait that seems to follow through all of these experiences is determination, sticking to it, following through. There are many times I have wanted to throw in the towel, but I can't I just have to finish it out. I have had "trials & tribulations" that I had to get through that were a matter of just getting through it. Later though, in looking back I have discovered lessons I have learned, traits I have developed, and a lot of Character that was built.
Maybe I have not experienced life to the fullest, maybe I am not the most successful, but I have found self-confidence in many aspects of my life, and as you will find out over the course of this "project" I am who I am. No, I don't think a movie will be made, or a reality TV show. Perhaps a best seller book though.... Most of all the real theme is that of Self-Confidence. That is really what I have been searching for and the revelation I have had. It took me 40 years to figure out what many do in High School, but well that is what makes me, ME!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Pure Joy
I am still amazed at the joy on Miss Maggie's face when she is off and running. I can tell she is putting in 110% and enjoying it 110%. It reminds me of kids running outside for recess at school, or heading to the pool. She finds the simple joy in running free off leash, the same way many people feel when going to Disney Land for the first time.
I imagine that she is thinking... "Let me take off and run full speed down the hill" and then looking back and seeing me "Oh look, there you are, it is you" and she takes of running towards me at full speed.
I can see it in her eyes that pure joy. I used to see this often when she would run on the beach in the waves, now we have to find it when we can in the few places that we know of. But with the "longer hours" I see it more.
I wish I could be in places that I can express that full joy. I have learned to embrace moments, to make them last and encourage more. But you really can't just take off running with your jacket over your head, arms outstretched and pretending you are an airplane. It just isn't done as an adult.
I have gone out in the cold, the rain, when I am tired and worn out. I have dragged myself off to places that she can feel that freedom, and I in return feel it too. I have found that I can feel this freedom more often and need to make it a priority in my life. I have spent days off at the pool, or eating Popsicles or Ice Cream, sitting in the sun and just listening to the birds on warm summer days. Listening to the frogs and crickets on a warm summers evening and watching the rain pour down in a thunderstorm. I have closed the computer, left the phone out of hearing, and just put away all the distractions of the day to just be there. I only wish these moments would last just a bit longer.
I imagine that she is thinking... "Let me take off and run full speed down the hill" and then looking back and seeing me "Oh look, there you are, it is you" and she takes of running towards me at full speed.
I can see it in her eyes that pure joy. I used to see this often when she would run on the beach in the waves, now we have to find it when we can in the few places that we know of. But with the "longer hours" I see it more.
I wish I could be in places that I can express that full joy. I have learned to embrace moments, to make them last and encourage more. But you really can't just take off running with your jacket over your head, arms outstretched and pretending you are an airplane. It just isn't done as an adult.
I have gone out in the cold, the rain, when I am tired and worn out. I have dragged myself off to places that she can feel that freedom, and I in return feel it too. I have found that I can feel this freedom more often and need to make it a priority in my life. I have spent days off at the pool, or eating Popsicles or Ice Cream, sitting in the sun and just listening to the birds on warm summer days. Listening to the frogs and crickets on a warm summers evening and watching the rain pour down in a thunderstorm. I have closed the computer, left the phone out of hearing, and just put away all the distractions of the day to just be there. I only wish these moments would last just a bit longer.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Dizzy Daffodils on the Hillside
Daffodils in March? Thunderstorms too? Perhaps we shall have to change the rhyme of April Showers, bring May Flowers... It is rather wonderful to be out for a walk with the dog on a 70 deg day in early March.
The sun was shining, the birds chirping, the trees were still bare, the ground covered in the dried, dead, brown leaves of winter. But there in the midst of it all was a backyard full of Daffodils. A bright field of sunshine yellow in the brown, drab woods of winter.
Farther down the path I travelled and there in the middle of the woods was this small, individual clump of daffodils in the middle of the woods and I wondered how did it get there. What is the story of that small clump of Daffodils? Were they washed down the hills during the rains? Was there a great flood that brought them there? Being that bulbs need to be planted about 4 inches in the ground was this some squirrel that decided to go in to landscaping, or a random act of kindness in the middle of the night? Perchance this little spot of sunshine was placed there by the mischievous Brownies I learned of in the Girl Scouts.
Are they Narcissus? Do they need to be first, the ones to be the brightest in the dullest times? Do they need to stand out and say "Hey, look at me!" with their bright yellow color. Do they realize that they are in the "wrong" place. Do any of us realize we are in the wrong place at times? Perhaps we can learn from the Daffodils that when life sends us in to the forests, through the long brown winter that when it is our spring, our time we should stand tall and proud and shine like the sun.
I like to believe that one night a stranger wandered through the woods with a shovel and bag of bulbs, planting little packets of surprise in the middle of the night. This stranger placed flower bulbs in unusual places then covered back up the ground as if he was never there. Only to have this ray of hope, inspiration & beauty to appear after the stranger is long gone. It is an act of kindness, selflessness, a way of creating beauty for others.
What ever the reason, however they got there that lonely, little clump of Daffodils brought a smile to my face and warmth in my heart. Maybe there is a force out there greater than ourselves that is working miracles. It got me thinking of the wonders of nature, of how everything in this world can not be simply explained and understood. You have to leave a little room for magic and just believe.
The sun was shining, the birds chirping, the trees were still bare, the ground covered in the dried, dead, brown leaves of winter. But there in the midst of it all was a backyard full of Daffodils. A bright field of sunshine yellow in the brown, drab woods of winter.
Farther down the path I travelled and there in the middle of the woods was this small, individual clump of daffodils in the middle of the woods and I wondered how did it get there. What is the story of that small clump of Daffodils? Were they washed down the hills during the rains? Was there a great flood that brought them there? Being that bulbs need to be planted about 4 inches in the ground was this some squirrel that decided to go in to landscaping, or a random act of kindness in the middle of the night? Perchance this little spot of sunshine was placed there by the mischievous Brownies I learned of in the Girl Scouts.
Are they Narcissus? Do they need to be first, the ones to be the brightest in the dullest times? Do they need to stand out and say "Hey, look at me!" with their bright yellow color. Do they realize that they are in the "wrong" place. Do any of us realize we are in the wrong place at times? Perhaps we can learn from the Daffodils that when life sends us in to the forests, through the long brown winter that when it is our spring, our time we should stand tall and proud and shine like the sun.
I like to believe that one night a stranger wandered through the woods with a shovel and bag of bulbs, planting little packets of surprise in the middle of the night. This stranger placed flower bulbs in unusual places then covered back up the ground as if he was never there. Only to have this ray of hope, inspiration & beauty to appear after the stranger is long gone. It is an act of kindness, selflessness, a way of creating beauty for others.
What ever the reason, however they got there that lonely, little clump of Daffodils brought a smile to my face and warmth in my heart. Maybe there is a force out there greater than ourselves that is working miracles. It got me thinking of the wonders of nature, of how everything in this world can not be simply explained and understood. You have to leave a little room for magic and just believe.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Changes....
The warm weather after a long, cold, dreary winter causes one to want to clean out the cobwebs, put away the blankets and sweaters, do a full house cleaning and make changes in ones life. We need to remind ourselves to practice some restraint in this, before taking on too much, making too many changes and set ourselves up for failure.
I have added studying for CLEP exams to take the tests for college credit the end of this year. This is in preparation for the Master's in Education program I hope to join in a year or so. I am having to learn the History of the World, Economics & some Spanish in a year. I joined a bible study group on the book of Genesis, signed up for Plenty of Fish (free online dating) and thinking I can run a blog too? Now this is all in addition to the 25 books I have on hold at the library, playing Words With Friends, going to the gym, and spending more time outside with the dog as the temps & daylight hours increase, not to mention the Garden that will need a full Spring overhaul. I had a case of spring fever that went out of control.
I sure am glad we are soon to add another hour to my day, only it still seems to me that every minute still has 60 seconds, every hour has 60 minutes, and every day has 24 hours in it. So where is that extra time? Fact is with the extra hour of daylight I end up visiting the garden after work.... so instead of more time, I have more work. Also the sun comes up an hour later, which causes me to sleep in later, so I am losing time. Now why don't we just leave all enough alone, and let me over extend myself with out screwing with the clock.
But all the experts say you can't make change with out effort.
I shall keep this in mind and try to stick to a schedule of postings rather than just random posts at random times. Do not rule out the random post now and then, for I am not perfect and might fail in my schedule or just have something to say. Also keep in mind, you have to be in motion to change, if you stand still and don't move nothing changes, everything is the same. But a body in motion is going to change, everything will change. I shall embrace that change.
Not to mention that it is the season of Lent too... oh my! But more on that another day.
I have added studying for CLEP exams to take the tests for college credit the end of this year. This is in preparation for the Master's in Education program I hope to join in a year or so. I am having to learn the History of the World, Economics & some Spanish in a year. I joined a bible study group on the book of Genesis, signed up for Plenty of Fish (free online dating) and thinking I can run a blog too? Now this is all in addition to the 25 books I have on hold at the library, playing Words With Friends, going to the gym, and spending more time outside with the dog as the temps & daylight hours increase, not to mention the Garden that will need a full Spring overhaul. I had a case of spring fever that went out of control.
I sure am glad we are soon to add another hour to my day, only it still seems to me that every minute still has 60 seconds, every hour has 60 minutes, and every day has 24 hours in it. So where is that extra time? Fact is with the extra hour of daylight I end up visiting the garden after work.... so instead of more time, I have more work. Also the sun comes up an hour later, which causes me to sleep in later, so I am losing time. Now why don't we just leave all enough alone, and let me over extend myself with out screwing with the clock.
But all the experts say you can't make change with out effort.
I shall keep this in mind and try to stick to a schedule of postings rather than just random posts at random times. Do not rule out the random post now and then, for I am not perfect and might fail in my schedule or just have something to say. Also keep in mind, you have to be in motion to change, if you stand still and don't move nothing changes, everything is the same. But a body in motion is going to change, everything will change. I shall embrace that change.
Not to mention that it is the season of Lent too... oh my! But more on that another day.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world. It is a bit insane, idyllic, and just the way it is. I don't put on pretenses, I don't follow the normal grammar rules, but I will try.
I wouldn't say it has been easy, I wouldn't say it is hard, compared to many, many others. It is all in ones own perspective though and since it is your life, if it is important to you then it is important. Your reality is the center of the world, yes the world does revolve around you, for a bit. So this is my little corner of the world that revolves around me, where what I have to say is valued, listened to and right, even if it is just in my mind. I think it will keep me sane. So you are welcome to come along, we will diverge, drift and travel to other worlds at times, just hang in there it will make sense one day. (I hope)
I don't believe I have ever had the idealist life, especially when Miss Maggie arrived on the scene. At that point I learned that "what is, is". Now see Miss Maggie is a Red & White Irish Setter and VERY ACTIVE ... She takes on everything off and running, wakes up every morning with a wagging tail (as long as it is after 8am), she does everything 110%. So see adjustments had to be made. Early on I started the Maggie Chronicles - a series of emails to family & friends, about Maggie as a puppy and her many antics, and there were quite a few. I still stop and view life through Maggie's eyes and see it from a dog's point of view and realize alot. This is somewhat of a continuation of the Chronicles, and a bit of my own points thrown in at times.
It is all just the way it is, the way life is, as much as we try to get everything just right something goes array. But then, this is our world and you are a visitor here. Please come stop and stay for awhile, all are welcome, BUT you may only be nice, happy, loving, positive, and open minded. Help me to be that way too. Opinions are welcome though do understand, mine is the final one, why? Cause it is my world!
I wouldn't say it has been easy, I wouldn't say it is hard, compared to many, many others. It is all in ones own perspective though and since it is your life, if it is important to you then it is important. Your reality is the center of the world, yes the world does revolve around you, for a bit. So this is my little corner of the world that revolves around me, where what I have to say is valued, listened to and right, even if it is just in my mind. I think it will keep me sane. So you are welcome to come along, we will diverge, drift and travel to other worlds at times, just hang in there it will make sense one day. (I hope)
I don't believe I have ever had the idealist life, especially when Miss Maggie arrived on the scene. At that point I learned that "what is, is". Now see Miss Maggie is a Red & White Irish Setter and VERY ACTIVE ... She takes on everything off and running, wakes up every morning with a wagging tail (as long as it is after 8am), she does everything 110%. So see adjustments had to be made. Early on I started the Maggie Chronicles - a series of emails to family & friends, about Maggie as a puppy and her many antics, and there were quite a few. I still stop and view life through Maggie's eyes and see it from a dog's point of view and realize alot. This is somewhat of a continuation of the Chronicles, and a bit of my own points thrown in at times.
It is all just the way it is, the way life is, as much as we try to get everything just right something goes array. But then, this is our world and you are a visitor here. Please come stop and stay for awhile, all are welcome, BUT you may only be nice, happy, loving, positive, and open minded. Help me to be that way too. Opinions are welcome though do understand, mine is the final one, why? Cause it is my world!
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