Is it really "fine"?

Everything is fine. In the grand scheme of the world, yes it is.
But is it really fine, all the time? Does it have to be a constant steady state? Or is it allowed to involve the ups & downs, highs & lows? For truly only then can the average be "fine".
If it is always just fine wouldn't there be a loss of value? Times that are "really wonderful" would not be as appreciated as there would not be a contrasting "really terrible" to weigh it against. I associate this with living at the equator, which I have not done and if I did I wouldn't lose the value of it I am sure. When one is at the equator there is consistency, the weather is often the same, a balmy 83deg, low humidity. Sunlight and darkness are of equal length, the seasons are the same. While I can fully appreciate that and make full use of it, I can only do this having lived a bit north of the equator for some time, and even visiting south. Would I be out on a 73 deg day in March walking the dog just because it is warm? Or would I put it off and say, "there is tomorrow". But I didn't, I went out there and walked and saw the Dizzy Daffodils along the way.
So while I love my warm weather and wish away the cold dreary winter for the hot, sweltering days of July. I know that the ice age will not last forever, we will not be trapped in the "snowmageddon" of 2010 for months on end. Soon I will be melting in the 90+ deg with 90%+ humidity. I will savor sitting on the deck on a 65 deg night eating ice cream in March. I will take the time to walk slowly through the Cherry Blossoms, and be thankful for all the pollen when I forget the allergy medication. Because I know that tomorrow just might bring 6 inches of snow and -15 deg for we have had snow at Easter before.
Okay that being said..... NO, all is NOT fine!  I have tried to find my positivity, to find the happiness, to find some uplifting, inspiring, words of wisdom to pass on to you. But this is my blog and therefore my life. I am on a down trip right now, a bit cranky one would say, I am trying to find the time to just wallow in my self pity and yet the real world, your reality, your "fine"-ness keeps creeping in. And I feel..... well.... fine.
I was brought up to always say "everything is great", when asked how I was doing. I was brought up that no one likes being around a cranky pants. I was brought up that even when the world is falling apart you are not to let anybody else know. What that led me to believe was that my feelings didn't matter, that what was important to me was really not that important. I have been fighting with this for the past week or so. What to say, what to write, try to make it happy, try to make others feel better. Well I don't feel happy, and I don't want too, why can't I just say "not so well". I would love to say "do you have 2 hours to sit and listen, do you really want to know?" Now all of that being said, I am now having a hard time keeping my cranky mood and by the end of this, yes everything will be fine.
I was trying to figure out how to say what is going on, in an interesting analogous way. All I could come up with was that I am driving through Nebraska right now. Now I have not been to Nebraska yet, and I am sure there are many wonderful places, but I imagine it as flat and the highways straight. Right now I am on the flat, straight, long highway stretching off into the distance, with fields of grain, and cows never ending. I am on the path of the same thing day after day, no hills, no valleys, and yet this is a great place to be. Every day brings you closer, every mile, every step brings you closer to the end, the goal, to change. So I should embrace the long, unending highway of Nebraska and not ask for the mountains of the Rockies.
Why as a World are we so afraid to sit & listen to others? Why do we feel we even need to ask people how they are when we really don't want to know. I think this is what really gets to me. I can't give voice to the emotions, I have to just smooth them over, I can't fully feel or express them to anyone, and that is a bit lonely. I have to do the acceptable thing and say "I am fine and how about you?" when I really don't care to know, and yet I am constantly faced with "how are you?"
During all this there is the craziness of Miss Maggie sitting on the other side of coffee table being totally put out since her cousin Chi is sitting next too me. This being so causes Maggie to slowly crawl under the table and push Chi out of the way, taking 20 minutes for this to happen. Chi, knowing that Maggie is the alpha dog relinquishes her place next to me and Maggie wiggles on over to lay upside down on my feet, as if she was there all along. This whole event brings a smile to my face and reminds me that yes... it is more than just "fine"... over all it is pretty darn wonderful.